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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Fast Day 173 September 22 2010 {On Her Graduation}

On Her Graduation

Sweet accents mixed with sparkling words;
foods and fruits brought upon cool waters,
the wind's lethargy amid the willow wands
whispers softly and caresses leaves.

Her desires are ten leagues long,
her tongue is fair and bright;
shine forth swift-footed child of maiden dawn-
the journey's inception at first light.

Make us forget our sorrows!
And friends when we do speak...
like gods of olde within your bowers
in the precinct of Olympus' peak!


I have been trying to approximate classic Chinese poetic constructions at times:
"And friends when we do speak" can be read "we are friends when we speak" or "friends, when we speak..."

I am deliberately leaving logical connexions a  bit vague, forcing the reader to do a bit more. It is unclear at times, as if the words were Chinese characters and the interpretation could be various.


Ruth said...

I think you've done well adapting this style. I like that the theme of the poem is fitting for it too, conjuring the mythic past, and connecting to the hope of the future.

Montag said...

Abstraction is the mother of hope...